Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Art of Saying No

As we step into the world, the first thing we learn about building our personal endurance and power is be willing to handle rejections. In fact, you also need to be able to handle rejections to be a Black Falcon. If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, the best thing you can do is to just walk away. There is no point trying to change someone else’s mind when you can spend more time just being yourself.

But being unaffected by rejections alone does not make you a Black Falcon. You also have to be very vocal about your own opinions. A lot of the times, this means saying no to others, even if they try to persuade you to do otherwise.

Still, simply saying no is not enough. The important thing is that you must put your personality across, and set up your boundaries powerfully. Here are a few things to watch out for:

1. Be Direct

If you try to make excuses to wiggle yourself out of a situation, you’ve already lost. You may be able to get away with it most of the time, but eventually, someone forceful enough will see the excuses as a sign of weakness, and simply overturn your rejection. You’re much more likely going to get respected by simply being forthcoming with your opinions.

2. Be Firm

No one likes rejections. So a lot of times, you’ll run into situations when people, usually other predators, would be very persistent and would try to take power away from your rejection. Always remember to stand your ground. If they keep trying after that, simply walk away. Nothing good will come out of the interaction if you stay in there.

3. Be Courteous

You have to be firm with your rejections, but as Black Falcons, we also have to respect the social dynamics around us. Be honest with your opinions, and make yourself clear when you’re rejecting someone. But don’t insult anyone. If you don’t respect others, they’re not going to respect you either, and as Black Falcons, you should be able to hold your ground without resorting to petty insults.

Finally, as Black Falcons, we must always uphold our dignity. If someone tries to challenge our rejections, don’t even bother giving that person any acknowledgement. Just stay as you are, and they’ll have no choice but to walk away.

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