Saturday, August 1, 2009

Getting Standards and Principals

There is nothing wrong with being a follower. In fact, falcons have survived for decades both in the wild, and under someone else’s care. But no matter where they are, or how they live, they are still the powerful hunters that grace the sky with their presence. In fact, this strength of character is what allows them to survive as falcons, instead of pets or food like so many other animals coexisting with humans today.

We Black Falcons are always interacting with other human beings. So sooner or later, you will learn that, in any social interaction, the stronger mental frame will always absorb the weaker mental frame. So you always have to uphold your value in any social interaction. Otherwise, others will unconsciously perceive you as being weak, and can even start alienating you from your own social circle.
There are two basic ways to build your presence and value

Setting Standards for Yourself

All of us were taught since a very young age that in order to get others to like us, we have to learn to compromise when dealing with others. This is a mistake. It’s not that you can’t make some sacrifices when dealing with others. But if you compromise yourself, you let others dictate who you are, and that, in itself, is a sign of weakness.

People want to respect you, but you must first show that you respect yourself. So the first thing you need to do is set standards. Voice your opinions, and let others know what you like, or don’t like. If someone is being rude to you, or crosses a line in their interaction with you, let them know that their behavior is unacceptable. If you always uphold these standards, others will come to respect it, and those who don’t shouldn’t be around you anyways.

Living with Principals

People will generally respect your standards. But once in a while, they will challenge it just to see how strong they are. The weaker your standards are, and the more you practice double standards, letting a few individuals get away with violating your standards, the more others will challenge it. So you must keep strengthening your standards so that others will follow them.

The way to strengthen your standards is by making sure that who you are is congruent with these standards. To do that, you must establish certain principals about how to conduct yourself, and live according to those principals. You will find that the more you live according to your principals, the less people will challenge your standards.

But more importantly, you must always put yourself out there. Challenge your own standards and values. In the end, this is the best way to of gaining personal power.

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